Wow! I had a weird incident with my dad who is going to be 90 in May. Tonight, I was going to have my birthday carrot cake with sugary icing and coconuts. Please note that I can’t feed myself because I’m disabled. Dad has moderate dementia. So, Dad cut a small cake for himself while I’d get the big piece. Mind you that, I saw him cutting the cake in front of me. He placed my plate of cake on the table. Then, when he was using his walker, he went to the kitchen; with his plate of cake, to get me some Starbucks mocha to drink. When he came back with the glass of mocha, his plate was gone. While he was feeding me, he asked me if he could have a piece of my cake. I quickly asked him, where his plate of cake. He told me that he did not have any! I flipped out. I asked him if he left it in the kitchen. He said no. I kept telling him that he cut a small portion of the cake. He stated that he could not remember eating his cake! I felt like I was going insane until I went to see the kitchen sink and saw the small empty plate with carrot cake crumbs.
My question is can sugar exacerbate his memory loss??? This whole situation is despairing and frustrating for both of us!
Dad has dementia. He REALLY does not remember having the carrot cake. You cannot convince dementia of anything. It sounds like his dementia has progressed to the point that you both will require more care.
On dementia there is a school of thought that sugar is a major factor in it developing. Some are referring to it as Diabetes Type 3.
There is all kinds of research going on into gut-brain connections and the effects of various foods and other factors, and the whole subject is very imperfectly understood.
But if you're worrying that a small helping of carrot cake with a little bit of icing on it, in the time it took your father to go to the kitchen and come back again, could cause a step down in his dementia... No. Let your dad have the cake if he'd like it. And I hope you enjoyed the big piece, too - happy birthday!
After she developed dementia my mother never remembered eating -- whether the food was sugary or not. This was a typical conversation when we visited the nursing home right after breakfast:
"How was breakfast today, Mom?"
"I don't think I've had it yet."
"hmm. Well, there are used dishes in front of you. It would seem you ate. Are you still hungry?"
"Yes."
"I'll ask the kitchen to do a piece of toast for you."
Forgetting about eating something is VERY common in dementia. If this is the first time your father has done that it would be very surprising to you, perhaps even shocking, but it is quite common. In some cases it can lead to obsessive overeating, but usually it does not present problems. If it had been a plate of celery and carrot sticks he had forgotten eating that would not mean that eating vegetables caused a sudden severe memory loss. That it happened with cake is just a coincidence. At 90 your dad should be eating anything that makes him happy. And he very well may not remember that he ate it.
It sounds like you have a mutually beneficial caring situation. Have you made plans for your care and his when his dementia progresses? And it will progress. That is the one thing universally true of dementia -- it gets worse. The forgetfulness about eating may be a sign of progression now. It really would be very helpful to make plans now than to suddenly have to face a crisis.
So, relax about Dad eating some treats. But if you haven't made some plans for a new care arrangement when the time comes, that would be worthy of your attention.
You have received a lot of good advise and suggestions all of which I totally agree with so please don't be offended that others were more concerned with your whole situation than your specific question. I am amazed that Dad can do what he can when he has to use a walker.
I will leave you with this thought. "What happens when Dad falls and breaks a hip or even an arm"?
But as to the question asked by Madtoe, pretty sure that little piece of cake didn't do anything. Forgetting that quickly is all a part of dementia which is already in place.
I’m working on getting help from the VA. Yes, I’m proud of him for using his walker. He has had two broken hips repaired, broken wrists fixed and broken ribs. That’s why his brain won’t let him forget using his walker. My mom was terrible about not using her walker before she went to the nursing home and passed.
Instead of worrying if a 90 year old who is taking care of you should have sugar - why didn't you just let him have a bit of your cake??
As distressed as you were - put yourself in his shoes for a minute. Have you any idea of the distress you put him through in denying him a bit of your cake?
My DH will awake from a nap and ask if he slept through lunch. So I make him another snack. He's 95 and truthfully, I am just so thankful he keeps waking up!
Sometimes we just need to learn to pick our battles. "Let him eat cake."
Granted, cookies for 3 meals a day might be a stretch, but, why a restricted diet for a senior who has limited time? I don't get it. Especially, if they are terminally ill, like with dementia, or some other illness. I think that quality of life matters too.
My LO's doctor says that with severe dementia, she would enjoy any food that she likes. I try to treat her whenever possible. I can't remove her from End stage dementia, so why would I restrict her from eating foods she enjoys. Maybe, I'm missing something.
I think you need to spend a bit of time reading lots of threads on this site - I read about 20 - 25 to get a better insight on mom's dementia - I started one with 100 things for newbie caregivers that everyone shared & that I found very informative - 1 or 2 are now enough to get full view - good luck