Mom is 83 with type 2 diabetes, IBS, heart and lung issues and what the Dr calls short term memory loss plus early dementia. My sister and mom have lived together for years and she takes fabulous care of mom. She’s diligent about mom’s health, medication and diet. She feeds mom the best diet for her health issues. But mom is forgetting that she’s eaten and wants more. She’s gained an average of 1/2 lb a day for the last week(according to home health care nurse that visits every 2weeks) and it’s not water weight. Sherry (my sister) even logs everything mom eats and shows it to her but it has no effect. After dinner tonight mom was napping so Sherry took a nap. Woke up to find mom in the kitchen, she had eaten 2 pkgs of fresh strawberries and part of a cantaloupe. Plus opened a can of gravy and poured it over the cats food as a treat for him.
Whats next for us? Are we going to have to put locks on the fridge and cabinets? Any suggestions will be blessing. Sherry’s afraid to sleep. We have kept her from cooking by hiding the cookware in a low cabinet in the back, all that she can reach is the heavy cast iron stuff that she can’t pick up.
May each of you find strength, courage, patience, hope and peace in your journey(s). I'm the one wanting to eat everything the last six months since things have become more difficult. However, my LO forgets he eats, and then wants to eat again. Thanks to everyone for helping each other. Be safe.
NOTE: even older microwaves have a built in safety feature: press/hold the stop/cancel button for about 3 seconds to lock the control panel. Repeat to unlock. Nice, easy, quick and simple!
Newer models of appliances (my stove/oven and washer/dryer) all have the same control lock feature. I had to use the washer/dryer ones because the cats would sometimes turn the panel on when jumping up onto them (never did start either, but why wait!) For older models, the oven generally has a locking mechanism, most have removable knobs, which should deter use, otherwise, unplug or turn the breaker off.
Cabinet locks have been around for a long time. Many options, most easy to install/use. As others noted, this is key for safety beyond just restricting food access (knives, other utensils, cleaning products, etc.) Better safe than sorry!
I do like the idea of getting a dorm-size fridge and stocking it with various low calorie nibbles (carrots, celery, think of the various veggies in a dip pack, minus the dip, small amounts of other fruits, veggies, beverages - esp water) For the most part, many people could reap benefits from this too - healthier, low cal foods. Keep any "treats" like cookies, snacks, etc to a minimum, but certainly very small amounts can be put in containers so the person isn't totally shut off - it's nice to have a "treat" once in a while!
Same concept for those with pets - keep the foods in a locked location, allow minimal access to "good" treats the person can provide to the pets! Freeze dried chicken treats would be something that should be okay, under moderation!
My mother was already a bit too heavy, but within a year of moving to MC, she gained 20#! Most of that was likely due to the daily ice cream bar for dessert... I haven't really put a kibosh on this, as you can't explain the weight issue (She points out others, but doesn't consider her own weight. She checks size on anything new brought in, Oh, that's large I usually wear a medium,... not any more mom! She even will point to my mid-section asking if I'm preg, but it is only my hoodie pocket with mitts in winter!) I also figure why bother. At 96 1/2 with dementia, and refusing now to stand/walk, not much to do. They do provide mostly good meals, and the desserts are pretty small. Reality is she won't be exercising or losing that extra weight, restricting intake isn't likely to reduce her weight either. Given your mom has to worry about diabetes, many suggestions given could help:
- restrict access to the "bad" foods
- allow more access, but don't over do it, to good foods
- restrict access to everything in the kitchen
- don't forget bathroom cabinets and laundry area!
- find ways to occupy her time, such as folding laundry, sorting items, playing with the pets, etc.
Sometimes we can redirect them, get their focus onto something else when the food topic comes up, or defer it saying it is cooking, it'll be ready in a while.
I'd also caution to remove cleaners and medications from her reach. Sometimes, they may ingest things that are not food, not realizing it.
I would keep snacks out that he could have without a problem fruit, his Crystal Light (he loved that stuff) and I would put 2 of his favorite cookies in the box on the top of the refrigerator where I used to keep a full box. (My Hubby was 6'4" with an arm span about the same!) He thought he was pulling one over on me by "sneaking" his cookies. All the rest of the sweets I kept in the pantry where he could not see them.
If you can get a small refrigerator for your mom's snacks and drinks that she can have freely. Keep the other stuff locked (yup ya gotta do it)
There are magnet locks for cabinets that do not even look like there are locks. You use a magnet on the front to open the lock.
There are "U" shaped locks you can use for the refrigerator If you have a white appliance even better she may not even realize the lock is there. Just say the door is stuck you have a repair man that will look at it later.
I do hope you have removed knobs on the stove and oven so she can not start it. With dementia it might not take much to try putting a bowl or other container on the stove. Some people I have talked to have even put a "master switch" for the stove so it can be turned on and off like a light switch so even if the knobs are turned on the oven / stove will not work.
Another option, if you do not have an open concept house is to close doors to the kitchen, lock them if possible.
Also you might want to try a large dark mat in front of the opening to the kitchen. Some people with dementia will not cross a black mat thinking it is a hole in the floor. (works for some not for others) And I even hesitate to suggest it because floor mats, rugs are a trip hazard. So if you try this get one that is heavy, has sloped sides almost like a commercial mat that you would see walking into a store.
Any involving anything more calorific and more disastrous than strawberries and a piece of melon? - how big were the packages?
The home health care nurse visits every two weeks. On the last occasion, the nurse observed that your mother had gained 3 1/2 lbs. Well, 3 1/2 lbs = a bowel movement and a large soda, roughly. It's not conclusive evidence that she's on the road to ruin.
The forgetfulness about having eaten does seem to be a distinct phase (my key memory about this was mother's plaintive "are we *having* supper tonight?" while I was, literally, still clearing the dining table); plus your mother has health issues which could be made worse by poor diet, so of course you and your sister are concerned, quite rightly.
But I wouldn't overreact, it's not like trying to manage a child with Prader-Willi syndrome. Your sister could try:
leaving suitable snacks and "nibbles" more easily available so that your mother sees them first
providing eye-catching diversions, e.g. a kaleidoscope lamp that gets switched on after dinner; or brightly coloured cat toys, get him involved, why not?!
placing alerts on the fridge and store cupboards. One client had a pig alert that made an "oink-oink-oink" sound whenever you opened the fridge door; lunch calls to him were great fun!
I'm sure your sister doesn't and wouldn't do this anyway, but arguing with your mother and telling her she can't be hungry (she is hungry. Hunger is a sensation, not a matter of arithmetical fact) a) is unkind and b) won't work.
Change the subject.
Offer something nice, low calorie and preferably time-consuming to consume.
Embark on an activity - balance exercises, bath time, clothes folding, silver polishing - anything!
Kudos to you for your praise for your sister, by the way. Only, remind her that she is only human, she can only do her best, and having a nap after dinner doesn't mean she has failed :) Hugs to both of you, and your mother.
Does the cat even like gravy???