My 97 yr. old Mom was taken off hospice and over the last several months has slowly refused to take a bath, let me wash her hair or give her a shower. The same goes for her using the toilet. She only seems to want to go once a day if that. She wears incontinent supplies.
I have long given up on giving Mom the traditional shower or bath. Her over the top resistance and resentment was not worth the physical and psychological battles to keep her clean and fresh. So far, she's luckily been compliant with an occasional wipedown with warm (face) towels using a rinseless body wash and shampoo that I follow up with towels rinsed with warm water only--the water-only wipedown is because the rinseless mix with warm water gets cool easily and the water-only wipedown can be done with towels freshly rinsed under warm running tap water so she doesn't get cold plus I'll also slather on body lotion after the water-only wipedown as double method to keep her warm (the heater clicks on and off for the duration of the wipedown; turning it on too high is unbearable and besides, having wash and water-only wipedowns followed by body lotion helps my peace of mind (not too many chemicals on her body) and she tolerates it.
Best of luck...
I see that your Mom lives at home with you. Usually what happens is that the adult/child dynamics kicks where where once again Mom is the adult/boss and you are back to being a teenager. Thus, Mom isn't going to listen to you, but she might listen to someone wearing an uniform.
My mother lives independently and when my brother bought his new house, he built an apartment for her. The bathroom is huge and has multiple shower head and seats in it so she wouldn't even have to stand to shower. It is also wheelchair accessible, so she can take her walker into the shower if needed. No matter what we do and her children, she refuses to bathe.
Help!