I am not caregiver for my 88 year old mother, I live 9 hours away. My brother and his wife live near mom and dad, so they see to them. My parents still live at home, are ages, 88 and 90. Both have health issues. I spent last summer at home with dad, and mom was in a nursing home after a fall with broken hip. She went home soon after I went home to my husband and teens last fall before school. I will be going back soon, one teen done with school for the summer the other still has some school stuff for 3 more weeks. But I will be going to mom and dad after that... for the summer. Last summer mom was on zynex when in the nursing home, but I was not happy with it for her and talked to the Doctor and she was taken off it last fall. Over the winter when not with mom she was having her up and down days. After a push from my brother and his wife in early spring the Doctor started mom back on Zynex and added Zoloft. Since I only talk to mom on the phone it is hard to say how she is and I hate to second guess my brother and his wife, since they are the ones seeing to my parents day by day. But I have seen her decline mentally over the phone this spring, since zoloft and zynex were added. After talking to my sister in-law she tells me mom is doing better on the drugs. I still feel this is way to much drugs for mom. I will get a better handle of this when I get over to them later in June, but till then.... What do you think, is Zoloft and zynex over used on the elderly to just keep them calm? This is how I feel it is being used on my mom, but I am not the one over there, day in and day out like my brother.
We don't allow people to have depression and anxiety when we/they go through changes, and many losses (even of abilities) can merit sadness. During times like that, extra rest can help enormously, and even better, having companionship of someone who knows what a big change it is for you, and notices the small things you do, to handle it well. Instead, we have rotating caregivers and people who look at life medically, often expecting people to act as others do, or as the elder person used to do. Grief and fear are very individual and related to interactions and expectations of others.
Helping caregivers to find small alternatives, sometimes just accepting the sadness - our society seems to expect so much unrelenting cheeriness, even as the planet is shrinking, in relation to oversights from our efforts to rush and keep up with the pace we have set for young people.
There's a book on Slow Medicine - called My Mother, Your Mother, in which a physician for elders notes how his perspective changed when caring for his own parents, and realized that through risks, they want someone to sit with them, notice the risk, and together find solutions. Takes time, and even though most people are good willing, many try, there are still many carers in group living settings and medically focused care, who don't have time to give, even when people's speech has slowed down, and reassurance can help a lot, but results focused people try to give them answers instead..